One year ago I baked a cake (or something like it) with my big daugther. While – I believe at least – the smaller one was just a good month old and sleeping. One year ago I was at home, living the life of a stay-at-home-mom but knowing I would go back to work in six months time. One year ago I was trying to figure out how on earth you survive a day with two children under two. And guess what? I’m still trying to figure out how to organise our lives, how to grow up and how to stay sane (but at least one kid is over two now – though not sure if that is an entirely great success, since, well, does the term “terrible twos” ring any bells with you?? If not, you lucky bastard, bet you don’t have kids).
There are various reasons which led me to doing this blog-thing here and please do not think the list below is in order of importance. I’m just trying to gather my thoughts after a day with the kids. So have mercy. Anyway, here they are:
- I do not know any Mum who works 80% or more and has two kids (yes, that’s what living in Switzerland also means. Apart from the fact the we’re very happy and very lucky people).
- Every time I mention how much I work I am met with a wide-eyed stare immediately followed by this: “what do you to with the kids when you’re not there”? My usual answer is that we tie them to a post and put some food and water in front of them.By that time I usually feel that if I say anything more somebody will call the childcare authorities (KESB in Switzerland).
- Time goes by so fast (ugh, yes, cliché alert went off, sorry about that, but had to do it since – it is TRUE!). I’m hoping to actually be able to pin down some instances of the day to day madness which, at some point, will hopefully become memories. I am so scared that I will just forget it all and then one day look back thinking – where did all those days go?! Or look back thinking, why did I ever think it was hard. Because sometimes it is just that. And then other times it is hilarious. Or exhilarating. Or heartbreaking. And sometimes it is all of this at once.Maybe I want a reminder to myself why we chose our path the way we did.
- I am curious to see if anybody can at least familiarise with my life, if any other couples tick similarly to us so I would feel less of an alien in the way we decided to organise ourselves. In the best case, this would even lead to a network and would make working women more visible. I believe a large portion of why they are not visible are a.) lack of time (yes I feel that!!!) and b.) fear of social stigmatisation (feel that too, see 2.))
- In writing all of this I realise also how grateful I am to have the life we do. We have some freedom of choice (though, don’t get me wrong here, there are a lot of financial restrictions for normal middle class people) and we have the best family you can imagine. Yes, I’m grateful and sometimes rendered speechless by how lucky we are.
- I have thought about doing this for ages. Never had time/energy etc. but at some point I just though “let’s do this” (there’s this story of the Moloko Song “The Time is now” but I’m saving hat for later). Now. Before my kids are 30 and I forgot everything. I mean, it’s hard for me to even remember last week, so there you go.
- I am so curious to see how this whole Social Media Thing works out and learning so much in the process, so let’s go on this journey and see where it brings us to!