It might be the case that I am thinking too much in stereotypes. Yes, it might be the case that I am even prejudiced (see my blog here) about working fathers vs. working mums. Which is why I can’t quite fathom whether to like this ad or not:
If you have read this post, I believe you would know that I like the general message of it. I would love to see that fathers have the same choices and difficulties when they have to set up their life with kids. It certainly rings a bell with me. Probably more than I would like. However that then gets me confused because they are asking this to fathers after all, not to mothers. And, see, that is what I can’t quite figure out, I can’t quite figure out whether I like this or not.
However, since this ad haunted me now since I saw it when I got back from London, I have decided to tackle the issue in a “manly” way, even though I’m not -apparently- the target group for this question. And I have written down where my time goes in a typical week. A sort of work-life balance in a pie-chart:
There are some things I like in there, for example that I actually spend little time commuting. Or cooking and cleaning, things which don’t really make me happy. And sleep (though this might look a bit too positive, since -yes- my kids are good sleepers, but not quite every night. Not in winter for sure!)
There’s Me-Time and Me-Time
And that I seem to be getting quite a bit of this “Me-Time”. However, I have to say that “Me-Time” doesn’t necessary mean, I always do fantastically amusing stuff in there (like writing the blog for example). It also means that I work off my mental or physical To-Do-List at home like research for kids’ stuff (where do I find cheap, pretty shoes for example, or when should children start seeing the dentist, or how do you talk to them so they understand what you want them to do, etc….) and also stuff for others like going through 1.5 years of photos on 3 different devices so I will actually live up to my promise to make one album per kid per year plus one for all the grandparents & godparents. So “Me-Time” isn’t always so very me. But at least it is time where nobody pulls at my knees, nobody wants me to read books and I can go to the toilet on my own which is always a bonus. Or eat chocolate without having to share.
Oh the Guilt-Thing (aka, my “let-it-go” task)
What also really relieved me is that I actually spend more time with my children then at work. It is scary quite how much it has done so. Plus, there are at least 7 weeks of holidays added to this, so there I go. Maybe I won’t burn in the “bad-mother-hell” just yet. Phew.
Actually, looking at this, it makes me quite happy with my current life. And so very thankful for the ability to chose. Overall I believe that I will survive parenting as sane (or insane) as I have always been. And it is possible, at least at the moment, when kids are healthy, work is not too crazy and nothing comes in on-top, to juggle all this. I just have to find a way to fit-in “sports” qualifying as me-time… but let’s save that one for another time. It also makes me see, once again, that every day only has 24 hours, so everything I do on top will cut into something else. Mostly on Me-Time, and in a weird way it has made many choices easier for me, clearer. Time is very precious to me and I want to be sure that where I have the choice, I chose either time for the kids or myself, I will not make any unnecessary sacrifices there.
It’s still unclear to me though, if this ad sticks to my mind in a good or a bad way. If men and women are treated as equals, why have I never seen it with a mother asking the same questions?
P.S: It is actually an ad of my husbands employer, which is a weird coincidence somehow.
P.P.S: Since you’ve read this really all the way to the bottom, and if you still like this blog, click on the follow-me button top right or here, and/or follow me on Facebook, that would make me reallyreallyhappy!