We went for a walk, for nice meals, we enjoyed our beautiful room, the out-of-this-world spa, and we skied. It has actually been around 4 years since we last skied together, which truly is ages. That was the winter before I got pregnant with Mimi #1. And since then I have either been pregnant or too busy with a baby. So it was one of those instances where we felt that we were reclaiming a morsel of our old life. Because we were once, in the pre-Mimi-era, pretty good at going for a skiing Holiday.
Making room for two
TMD and me try to make the effort of organising a twosome extended weekend every around 4 months or so. Basically we abuse Birthdays and the likes as an excuse to spend all the money we used to spend in one week’s holiday in just two days. Of course we are very lucky in that we have the grandparents near enough and willing to help us getting this time off.
Here we go again…
It might not come as a surprise to you that always, always before those weekends, I come to the point where I can’t be asked to go. Compared to how it used to be without Mimis, it is a lot of effort getting there. Since we feel we cannot impose both the children on one grand-parenting side, we have split them up the past two times. Mimi #1 went to the in-laws and Mimi #2 went to my Mum. So far this has worked fine, though it seems Mimi #2 is starting to struggle a bit with the “single-child” setup, so we will have to see what happens next time.
Apart from the organisational effort in advance, (asking everybody if they are around and willing, booking the Hotel, figuring out who picks up which child when and packing for four persons) it is also emotionally difficult for me in the run up. I still struggle with the guilt sometimes and it is always, always hard to say good-bye.
HOWEVER, whenever I have finally gotten over all that, it is all worth it. Always.
Just this sense of freedom when it’s just the two of you in a car. No need to ruin your back twisting to search for toys which have fallen into god knows what crack somewhere in the back of the car. You just stop whenever you feel like it and grab a quick coffee. Hell, you rebel, you just get out of the car and walk away, rather than unbuckling and lifting down two short people and then crawling your way to the restaurant/shops at a snail’s pace.
Sometimes it’s just great to remember, how easy things can be. And how much there is to look forward to with the Mimis getting older.
Not as if we regret the life we have now (well, maybe just sometimes when we’ve had a rough week…), but it feels good to remember who you also are as a couple. After all, I’m hoping that when the Mimis grow older (and those baby feet no longer patter around our flat, *sob*) and eventually move out (yep, getting a bit ahead of myself here), I still want to live together with the man I married. I know there is no guarantee that this will work out. But having a weekend together is a.) great fun b.) great fund and c.) gives us the feeling that we’re actually “working” on our relationship for once, rather than just co-existing. Which, frankly, is what we do most of the time. Because it is just so easy to slip into this habit of coexistence . Our daily and weekly routine is so packed, we just want to enjoy the two to three hours of grown-up time, after the Mimis went to bed, in peace. And this “peace” does not involve twosome soul-searching. It usually involves our close family friends the TV, the Internet and the Smartphone. (or when do you imagine I’m writing this blog??)
So therefore, if you can organise it at all, I very highly recommend stretching yourselves a bit out of your comfort zone and making the effort of organising weekends, or even just one night away. Especially if you’re like us and you struggle with the “date night” setup and do this about as often as you have been waxing your legs since you had kids. Not nearly as many times as you should have.
Side-effects, wanted and unwanted ones
As a side-effect I believe that these weekends enable the grandparents to establish their own relationship with the Mimis. The grandparents can finally spoil the Mimis in any which way they like without the motherfigure constantly hovering around and rolling her eyes. In this particular instance it turned out that both grandmothers had the same idea and went to the x-mas markets in their respective neighbourhood, where they both simultaneously bought humonguous balloons which now grace our already cramped living room. On top of that, Mimi #1 insists the balloons need to “sleep” (i.e. hover) right next to their beds. I tell you, these balloons scare the sh.. out of me whenever I walk into them in the dark. But this, of course, is a sacrifice TMD and me are willing to make.
How do you handle your twosome time? Any easy tips for notoriously lazy people such as us? (And no, I do not want to hear that being and staying a couple is hard work… even if I suspect it is)