You might ask yourselves if I’ve given up writing this blog altogether. Or, where the hell I’ve been these almost four weeks since I last published. Or you might not have noticed at all, which is absolutely fine by me.
Truth is, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I have two unfinished post in draft stage. I have plenty of pictures on my phone which I’ve taken for some posts. But bringing it all together just wasn’t in me so far in 2017. I jokingly say that my drive is still stuck in 2016 and I fear that might be far too true. Kids have been sick. Kids have not been sleeping well (something we’re not used to). Mimi #1 particularly has decided to understand the true meaning of “terrible twos” just 2 weeks before her third birthday and truly has been living up to them. Work has been difficult for me, so it somehow all has been a bit much lately.
Step by step, I’m trying to regain some speed. Though not as much speed as I had before Christmas because, frankly, that was just ridiculous. And it wasn’t me. Because I don’t like to run around like a headless chicken. I like to at least give the moment a chance to be appreciated. And I also want some lazy time back to myself. And that involves watching quite a lot of interior design shows such as “Restoration Man” and “Interior Design Challenge”. Which somehow is ironic, because this is exactly an area we struggle with on a daily basis and which is subject of one of my unfinished posts, to follow soon…
So what I want to state here quite clearly is that “having it all” is very much impossible 99.9% of the time. And sometimes trying to is such I stretch that I have to take a break from it. And I will stop feeling bad about that because I don’t want to spoil my lazy time by that. There are so many things I’m interested in, so many things I would like to learn more about or spend more time on (Yoga! Friends! Books! Lying at the beach!), but everything is always a trade of.
The rule of the three
My life mainly consists of my kids and my work and then, in my opinion, there’s “only” space for something third in this. And I am rotating between: relationship, myself, or sports. Those three things alternate and I try to keep them even which isn’t always easy. But it will, for some time, stay this way so it is a case of “hanging in there” more than actively chose. Hang in there I will, but at the same time I will try not to get so stressed out about it.
Life is not about arriving, but about enjoying the ride
I don’t want to always look forward to a point in the future where everything will get “easier” or less stressful. I don’t only want to live toward our next holiday (though I love looking forward to it – hello Engadin in March!). I want to just be here and get as much out of it as I can. Something which is much easier when you have kids, because they have a way of, sometimes painfully, nailing you to the present. Daydreaming and fantasising have pretty much left me for the time, and even if I miss this, there’s something good in it. It tells me to appreciate what we have and are now. Who knows how tomorrow will be (though I’m hoping tomorrow will be much less snotty with Mimi #2…)?
So, just to let you know, I have no idea when my next post will appear, but I’m hoping a.) soon and b.) it will help me to get some of our 3000 ever-pending projects sorted!
Take care and enjoy the ride!
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